


Emotions

by dovelyheart



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fallen Castiel, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-24
Updated: 2013-05-24
Packaged: 2017-12-12 21:13:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/816119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dovelyheart/pseuds/dovelyheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel isn't very good at coping with emotions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotions

Dean returned to the bunker to find the door to his room locked. He knocked loudly, but received no answer. Swearing under his breath, he picked the lock and opened the door to find Castiel curled up in a pile of blankets on the floor, shaking.

"Cas? Cas!" Dean shouted, diving to the ground to lay a hand on Castiel's back.

Castiel whimpered. He curled into Dean's leg, muttering about sadness and it won't stop and emotions and too much and can you kill me please. The blankets were pulled up to his chin, his eyes glazed over and tears leaking onto the fabric. He didn't seem to be able to see anything so much as feel everything.

Dean pulled him to his feet and helped him to lay on the bed. Castiel didn't stop shaking, but he finally looked at Dean and reached out to grab his arm, muttering a jagged don't leave me.

He had never seen Castiel like this, and it was both terrifying and heartbreaking. Dean crawled into bed with Castiel and wrapped his body around him protectively, feeling the fallen angel quivering as he struggled to relax. They laid together for about an hour before Castiel had calmed down enough to talk. He turned his face up to Dean, a frightened look in his eyes.

"Dean, what is happening to me?"

Dean signed, unable to think of a proper explanation.

"It's...it's emotions, Cas. You can't handle them yet."

"That may be true, but I have rarely seen a human lose control in this way. It is not exactly...normal."

Dean's arms tightened around Castiel.

"You weren't born with emotions. You've gotta get used to them."

"Is that why babies cry, Dean?"

Dean laughed. "Sure, Cas. That's why they cry."

Castiel squinted as he processed this new information. It took him a moment to recognize a second emotion building in his chest, much warmer than the first sea in which he had been drowning.

"I understand," he said quietly. "That is why this emotion -- the one that I am feeling now -- does not cause me to cry. It is not new."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Not new? What emotion?"

Castiel wasn't sure what to say. Something -- fear, he identified carefully -- made telling Dean difficult. He tried to think of another method of relaying this information to Dean, but could think of only one solution. Carefully, he pressed his lips against Dean's. It wasn't very difficult, as Dean already had his arms wrapped tightly around him. The action, however, sent a shock through Castiel as the warm feeling in his chest expanded.

He assumed that Dean returned the warm feeling when Dean kissed him back, dragging a hand gently along Castiel's spine in order to cradle the back of his head. Dean's mouth opened gently, and Castiel gasped as warmth spread throughout his body. Castiel pressed his body into Dean's, melting into his arms. He wasn't sure how long this was going to go on, but he found that he did not mind. Perhaps it took longer to convey the warm feeling if the warm feeling was very strong. He had only kissed Meg for a few moments, but the warm feeling had only flickered around her--

Dean pressed his fingers against the area between Castiel's shoulder blades, where his wings had once been. Castiel's entire body arched back as the usual dull pain turned to throbbing pleasure, and he let out a soft moan.

Dean pulled back, a look of wonder on his face. He cupped Castiel's face with one hand, thumb moving over his lips. Castiel stared at Dean for a moment before cuddling into his chest. It was the only place he felt his emotions were bearable.


End file.
